


Ambivalence

by krissingbooth



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - No Demigods, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Annabeth is a jealous biatch, F/M, Falling In Love, Fluff, Love Triangles, Love/Hate, OOC, One Shot, Percy Being an Idiot, Romance, love triangle but not really because who ships perachel, percabeth, percy is oblivious as always, rachel is in love and a lil bean, sort of ooc, what do i even put here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-23 11:27:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14933349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/krissingbooth/pseuds/krissingbooth
Summary: "I-I..." Annabeth tries to find an answer. "It's complicated.""No it's not." Percy says softly. "The world is round, the ocean is blue and Annabeth Chase hates Percy."Or: Rachel Dare is desperately in love with Percy Jackson. Annabeth Chase hates him. It's a win-win situation, until it's not.





	Ambivalence

**Author's Note:**

> hope you enjoy!! percabeth has been my otp since day one and i am forever grateful for uncle rick  
> i also posted this in [Quotev](https://www.quotev.com/story/10472442/Ambivalence)

 

 

**am·biv·a·lence**

amˈbivələns/

_noun_

  1. the state of having mixed feelings or contradictory ideas about something or someone.




 

* * *

 

Annabeth Chase hates Percy Jackson. 

She can't really explain it - it's a horrible feeling that crawls up her spine and wraps around her throat until she's filled with loathe and hatred. Whenever she looks at him, she can't breathe. Her heart starts pounding and  _all she can see is him_. 

Hating someone is a lot like loving someone, in a way. 

Although she knows that she hates Percy Jackson, sometimes she mistakes it with love. He's all that consumes her thoughts everyday, and she notices everything he does. The difference between love and hate, however, is that when she stares or thinks or does  _anything_  about him, she feels vile and disgusted and then she hates him all over again. 

It's a tiring process. 

She's stopped trying to explain it to herself, because there wasn't any point of analyzing how much she hates Percy Jackson. It was too stressful, too hurtful, too weird to try to think about. 

Annabeth doesn't know why  _exactly_  she hates him so much. 

She's been with him since grade school, but they've never really had a conversation before. It doesn't make sense that she hates him so entirely - but she just  _does_. Maybe it's because of his stupid smile and his even stupider sea green eyes. Maybe it's because they both have ADHD and dyslexia. Maybe it's because his hair is dark and messy, and it always looks like he woke up and never bothered to fix it. Annabeth is a perfectionist and overachiever, so she can't imagine ever doing that. 

The main reason why she hates him so much is because  _everyone loves him_. 

It makes her sick. 

The students love him. All her friends love him. The teachers and staff love him. Every stranger that passes by Percy Jackson is guaranteed to love him. 

And he doesn't even  _try_. 

For her whole life, Annabeth has been  _perfect_. Perfect grades, perfect appearance, perfect glare. Even in kindergarten, she was the only one who could recite the ABCs perfectly and count to one hundred. 

So maybe that's why when Percy Jackson comes into her life with a blue crumbs stuck on the corner of his mouth and everyone immediately falling over their feet for him, Annabeth feels a harsh hatred for the tiny boy that took her perfection and made it look easy. 

Annabeth spends an all-nighter finishing a project. Percy scratches the back of his neck awkwardly and apologetically admits to the teacher that he _didn't have time_ to do it.The teacher pouts, ruffles his hair, and gives him an extension. And then in the end,  _he_  gets a better mark than her. 

Everyone gushes about Percy Jackson. They say how he excels at swimming, how cute he is, how he's nice to everyone and how his smile is absolutely  _gorgeous_. Annabeth is perfect. People whisper about her, cower in fear when she stares at them, and sigh with exasperation when she has the best mark out of everyone. 

She's so,  _so_  perfect - and Percy Jackson is anything but. She's tired of trying  _so_  hard, of hating him so much, of being jealous of all the love and attention he doesn't deserve. She doesn't _want_ to be the bad guy, but with Percy Jackson in her life, she always will be. 

So maybe  _that's_  why she hates him. 

Annabeth is pretty sure he doesn't even know it. He's the most oblivious person she knows. Annabeth isn't even _sure_ that he knows that everyone adores him - that he's ruined Annabeth's life. 

She feels someone whisper in her ear, breaking out of her thoughts. "You're staring at him again." 

Her friends snicker around her, and she turns back to them to give them a proper glare. It's lunch time, and _everyone_ is trying to sit beside Percy Jackson. They're all swooning over him, and he's laughing like he doesn't have a care in the world. Annabeth clenches her fists. 

Her closest friends are sitting with her. There's Luke, Thalia, Grover and Rachel. Luke has sandy blond hair and and blue eyes. When they were younger, Annabeth used to have a crush on him. She's over that now, especially since he'll be out of high school next year alongside with Thalia. Thalia has spiky dark hair and electric blue eyes, skull earrings and a leather jacket she stole from the thrift store. Then there's Grover - painfully awkward Grover, with curly brown locks and a limp. He's a huge nature lover, and when he's nervous, he bites his nails (which is all the time). 

Rachel Elizabeth Dare stares at Percy Jackson with admiration and fondness that Annabeth is much too familiar with people staring at him with. Although Annabeth has only known Rachel since freshman year, more recently than all her other friends, she's her best friend. Rachel is witty and intelligent and artistic. She has curly red hair and green eyes and freckles that cover her whole body. She's one of Annabeth's favorite people, which makes it so disappointing when Rachel admits that she's desperately, irrecoverably  _in love_  with Percy Jackson. 

It makes her sick to think about it. 

It amuses Thalia and Luke to no end, and makes Grover extremely nervous. 

"You guys are like yin and yang," Thalia once mused, "One person desperately in love with Percy Jackson, and one person desperately hating him." 

Thalia, Luke and Grover don't love him as much as everyone else does, but they don't  _hate_  him, either. They like him as a person, but that's about it. 

"He's not even that bad, Annabeth," Grover protests, because he's nice like that, "He's actually a cool guy." 

"Another person steps into the dark side," Annabeth mutters underneath her breath, and her friends laugh. 

Okay,  _maybe_  that was a jerk thing to say. Annabeth stopped caring about it. If people could whisper and gossip about  _her_ , why couldn't she do the same to Percy Jackson? 

"It's more like  _you're_  in the dark side, and everyone else is in the light." Luke smiles lightly, but his eyebrows are furrowed. "I still don't get why you despise him." 

Annabeth has attempted many,  _many_ times to explain why she hates him. No one understands it, and if she's being perfectly honest, neither does she. 

"Whatever," She glares at them once again. 

Suddenly, her day turns for the worse. Rachel's eyes widen and she starts fixing her hair, Grover chews on his nails, and Thalia and Luke look as if they're trying not to laugh. Annabeth feels him coming before she sees him. Something vile creeps up her spine, and she feels sick. Her palms begin sweating, her heart races faster, and she can't think. 

Once again, she's reminded of how much hate seems like love. 

And then she hates Percy Jackson all over again. 

"Hey, guys." 

His voice is easygoing and kind. Annabeth doesn't turn around, refusing to look at him. It'd be too much for her. She could imagine him smiling at all of them, his green eyes twinkling and his dark hair ruffled, as always. Her friends are staring at Annabeth with complete amusement. 

"Hey, Percy," Her friends speak at the same time, except Rachel sounds breathless and Grover sounds hesitant and Luke and Thalia are unsuccessfully trying not to laugh. Annabeth doesn't say a thing. She stares down at her lunch. 

They're a weird group. She could imagine the confusion on Percy Jackson's face. 

"Um, well..." He's uncomfortable. Good. "Did you print out the sheet for English, Grover?" 

Grover nods nervously. "Yup!" 

"That's cool, G-man." G-man? Annabeth hears Percy rustle. "Well, I'll see you guys later?" 

"Bye, Percy," Everyone says in unison, in completely different tones. Annabeth remains silent.

She knows when Percy leaves, because she can breathe once again and her heartbeat slows down. His presence is gone, and visibly, Annabeth relaxes. 

"Oh my _god_ ," Rachel turns to glare at Annabeth, all her dreaminess fading away. "You can't even say  _hi_ to him!"

"Of course I can!" Annabeth says defensively, because she  _can't_.

"You  _cannot_."

"I can!" 

"You can't!"

"I can!"

"Can't!"

"Can!"

"Can't!"

"Can-"

"Let's face it, Annabeth," Thalia interrupts, "You can't."

Annabeth rolls her eyes. "I don't hate him  _that_ much that I can't even talk to him."

A gleam comes in Rachel's eye, and she leans forward. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah."

Grover bleats. "I don't like the sound of this."

"Then I dare you to have a conversation with him." 

" _What_?" Annabeth nearly shrieks in surprise, and Luke and Thalia smirk. 

"You said you can talk to him, so do it." Rachel shrugs. "Unless you're too scared, right?"

Annabeth narrows her eyes. Her pride is almost worse than Percy Jackson, and she knows what Rachel is playing at. Annabeth is definitely _not_ dumb, and there's no way she's going to fall for Rachel's stupid taunt. 

_No. Way._

 

* * *

 

"Can I sit with you?"

Percy looks up from his textbooks, confusion written all over his stupid face. Annabeth begrudgingly understands why, as they never, ever had a conversation - courtesy of Annabeth avoiding him at all costs. She would've kept it that way, if Rachel wasn't smirking knowingly and-

 _Ugh_. Annabeth is too predictable for her own good.

"Uh, sure," Percy says awkwardly, and Annabeth pulls out a chair and sits across the table from him. 

Annabeth wasn't about to do it. She was about to let Rachel prove her point, until she saw Percy in the library after school - and Percy Jackson doesn't  _go_ to the library. Annabeth does. And hey, it couldn't hurt to tolerate Percy Jackson for a _little_ while - and proving to her friends that  _yes_ , she could talk to Percy Jackson. 

Easy enough.

Except it's not. They're across from each other, and Annabeth is tensely opening up her books and avoiding eye contact. Not that it matters, because Percy Jackson himself is staring at his textbooks, frustration clear on his face. 

It's a different look on him. Annabeth is so used to seeing the oblivious, easygoing Percy Jackson, that seeing him stressed is satisfying. His eyebrows scrunch together in concentration, and Annabeth thinks that it's sort of...cute.

Wait.  _What?_

Annabeth resists the urge to throw up. The cafeteria food definitely had something in it that made her think impossible thoughts. She glares at her textbooks, realizing that she's going to have to speak to him, even if the very thought pains her.

"Uhhh," Annabeth is  _so_  painfully awkward, she wants to crawl in a hole and die. Annabeth doesn't _do_  awkward. At least, not usually. "What are you doing?" She wants to whack herself with a textbook. Her fists are already clenched, and her heart is pounding so loudly she's afraid the whole library can hear her. 

Percy doesn't seem to notice. He looks up and smiles bashfully at her, and Annabeth thinks that word again -  _cute_. She winces. "Oh, I'm just studying for my Math test. Well, trying to." He chuckles to himself. 

"Oh." Her voice cracks. "Well...I can help, if you...want." 

She wants to vomit. 

Percy brightens. "Could you really?" When Annabeth nods, he seems to jump up and down his chair. "That'll be awesome. Since you're really smart and you're in my Math class..." 

Annabeth nods once again, her throat dry. Hatred is a familiar feeling to her, but her palms are sweating for an entirely different reason. Why is she so _nervous_?

"Let's see what you're working on." Annabeth leans forward, tucking in a curl that escaped from her ponytail. "Trigonometry. Okay, well...what do you need help with?"

Percy smiles bashfully once again, and Annabeth's fingers tremble.  _He's not cute. He's not cute. He's not cute._  "Basically everything," He admits, and Annabeth can't stop it when she lets out a laugh. 

It's genuine and clear and Annabeth's stomach drops. She covers her hand with her mouth, her cheeks burning in horror.

 _WhydidIdothatwhydidIdothatwhydidIdotha_ -

"You shouldn't be ashamed of your laugh," Percy says, misinterpreting her horror, "It's cute." 

There was that word again.  _Cute._  Percy laughs awkwardly, and Annabeth realizes she's blushing.

 _Blushing_. Because the person she's despised her whole life called her cute! There was definitely something wrong with the cafeteria food. 

"Um, okay." Annabeth continues, pointing at his textbook. "Anyway, to do this..."

 

* * *

 

It's two hours later, after frustration and explaining things over and over again when Percy  _finally_ understands the work. It's only when the library closes, and the school librarian reminds them ever so gently. They nod and pack up, and Annabeth realizes she spent  _two hours_ with Percy Jackson. 

She feels sick all over again, and she wants to curse Rachel for daring her to do this.

They head out of the school, and there's no one in sight except for the occasional passerby. 

"Um, thanks for helping me with my work," Percy rubs the back of his neck, "You didn't have to, but you did it anyway. So that's pretty cool of you."

"I expect you to pass that math test now with flying colors." Annabeth doesn't mean to make a joke, but Percy laughs anyway. It's happy and free and Annabeth refuses to look up at him.

"We should talk more," Percy says casually, and Annabeth gives him a strained smile.

 _No, thank you_.

"I should get going..." Annabeth backs away, suddenly desperate to go home and forget this all happened.

"Wait," Percy calls, and she stops. "Do you have a ride?"

Annabeth tenses. "I can walk." 

"Let me drive you," Percy insists, "After all, I owe you one for helping me." 

Annabeth hesitates, and apparently, that's enough for Percy. "Come on," He holds her wrist gently, and she follows him helplessly. "I promise I won't kidnap you or anything like that." 

Annabeth hides a smile. 

They get into his car, and after giving Percy directions to her home, Annabeth looks out the window to ignore him. She feels tense and her mind is racing and everything is a jumble of a mess. Why did she sit beside him? Why did she offer to help him? Why did she let him drive her home? 

 _Stupid_ , Annabeth feels.  _Stupid, stupid, stupid_.

They finally arrive at Annabeth's house, and Percy smiles at her. Her stomach flops. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

Annabeth exits his car, and slams the door. In the back of her mind, she knows she's being impolite, but she can't bring herself to apologize. She has to fumble for the keys before successfully opening the door, and after Percy drives away, she leans against the door, breathing heavily. 

_I hate him._

So why does she feel so bad about that?

 _It's because_ , Annabeth realizes,  _he doesn't deserve it_.

 

* * *

 

And then, Annabeth is reminded all over again why she hates him so much.

It's Math class, and Rachel and Grover are sitting beside her. Rachel stares at Annabeth smugly, while Grover anxiously stares at them. 

Rachel's wearing a white blouse, jeans, and a smirk. Her hair is in an elaborate braid, and Annabeth notes that she's wearing a little bit of mascara and blush. She's usually in paint-splattered clothes, but Percy is in their Math class, so she always dresses up nice for him.

Annabeth doesn't feel like teasing Rachel today, however. As much as she tries to deny it, she's thinking about Percy Jackson. She can't help it - but she doesn't exactly know  _why_  she's thinking about him. All she knows is that he's all over her thoughts, and Annabeth is absolutely _sick_ of it. 

"So, did you talk to him?" Rachel's eyes are twinkling. She thinks that Annabeth didn't have the guts. 

And she's right. "I did," Annabeth says, staring at her hands. 

Grover bleats in surprise, but Rachel laughs. "Annabeth, we know you didn't. You hate him more than anything, although I don't understand why. He's-" 

He walks in the room. 

Immediately, the room seems brighter. Rachel turns around and straightens. Grover waves at him. The teacher smiles at him, eyes crinkling, and everyone in the class greets him. There are about a million seats already saved for him. Annabeth wants to ignore him like usual, but instinctively she looks up, as well. 

And he's  _perfect_ , without even trying. Like always. His dark hair is a usual mess, and he's wearing a blue sweatshirt that brings out his eyes. He's smiling at everyone, and Annabeth thinks he's like the sun. Everyone seems to orbit around him, and suddenly, jealousy creeps inside of Annabeth. 

It's a familiar feeling - because while she's in impeccable clothes, her curly blond hair neatly tucked into a ponytail, her notes and books and supplies placed on her desk neatly, Percy just needs to walk in with a smile and everyone is done for. 

Annabeth is done for, and she hates him. She  _hates_  him. She hates him for how everyone loves him, she hates him because he doesn't even try and all Annabeth has  _ever_ done in her life is try, and she hates him because he's probably going to ace this Math test now because she helped him. 

She blinks back frustrated tears in her eyes, and that's when Percy looks at her. And he _smiles_. Not his usual, outgoing smiles but a soft, slow smile that seems a little too private to be shown in Math class, that seems to say hello and goodbye and everything in between. 

Annabeth turns a little breathless, and then she hates him even more for that. 

He walks down her aisle, then stops right in front of her so she's forced to crane her neck to look up at him. "Wish me luck for the test," is all he says, and then he sits in the back with a few of his friends. Annabeth refuses to look back at him, but she does so anyway. He's already staring at her, and when her face heats up, he winks.

 _Why did he do that?_  Annabeth spins around, clenching her pencil so tightly, it was in the verge of breaking.  _Why did I even look back in the first place?_

Rachel nearly falls off her chair. 

" _No way_ ," Rachel hisses, "You talked to him!" 

Annabeth shrugs, pretending to be unfazed. "I told you so." 

"He _winked_  at you, Annabeth!" Rachel shrieks quietly, "What'd you even  _say_  to him?"

"I met him in the library," Annabeth admits, "and I helped him study for the test." 

Grover's eyes are wide, and Rachel looks like she swallowed her lunch way too quickly. "I didn't think you'd even say  _hi_ to him, let alone help him!" Annabeth feels smug - because _yes_ , she can talk to Percy without throwing up - but then an unrecognizable look flashes on Rachel's face before disappearing. 

Grover notices it, too. He gives Annabeth a look. 

"Rachel?" Annabeth prods gently, "What's the matter?" 

Rachel opens her mouth, and closes it. She shakes her head quickly. "It's stupid,"

"You can tell us," Annabeth says softly.

Rachel hesitates at first, but then she finally relents. "I've been talking to him ever since freshman, trying to get his attention and make him like me back. And then  _you_  talk to him for a little bit, and he's flirting with you!" Annabeth opens her mouth to deny, but Rachel continues on. "And, just...what if I'm  _not_  what he's looking for?" 

Rachel seems so tiny and sad, that Annabeth's heart breaks. She doesn't understand how Rachel fell in love with him, but she's her best friend. Annabeth cares for Rachel, no matter what. 

"Rachel, don't say that," Annabeth squeezes Rachel's hand in reassurance, "You're artistic, and funny, and pretty - and I'm  _sure_  if you just talk to him about it, he'll reciprocate your feelings."

Grover nods encouragingly, and then suddenly Rachel seems to brighten. 

"Annabeth," Rachel's eyes are bright and excited, and suddenly Annabeth begins to grow wary. "Do you think you can talk to him for me? To see if he likes me back?" 

" _What_?" Annabeth nearly shouts, and a few people look over her way. She ignores them. "Why would I do that? You know how much I despise him!" 

"I know," Rachel seems desperate. "But you're my  _best_  friend! You're the only one I would trust to do this," 

"Thanks," Grover mutters, but Rachel ignores him. 

" _Pleeeease_...?" Rachel begs. 

Annabeth sighs, and glances at the object of Rachel's affections. He's staring at his textbook, quickly reviewing before the test begins. His eyebrows are furrowed and he's biting his lip, and for some reason, Annabeth softens. "Fine," Annabeth relents, "I'll do it." 

"Oh my god!" Rachel squeals. " _Thankyouthankyouthankyou_!" 

"Rachel," the teacher calls, and she shrinks in her seat. "Is there something you'd like to share with the class?"

She turns as red as her hair. "No."

"Good," the teacher nods, and faces the class. "Put your things away, everyone. The test will begin once I see everyone is ready." 

" _Thank you_ ," Rachel mouthed to Annabeth, and suddenly she feels guilty. 

Annabeth knows that Rachel isn't the only reason why she agreed to talk to him. Maybe, just maybe, she wanted another reason to talk to him - although she's not quite sure why. 

 

* * *

 

After school, Jason Grace finds Annabeth. Jason Grace is almost as perfect and rigid as Annabeth, with perfectly cropped blond hair and glasses and blue eyes. There's a scar that goes over his mouth (rumors say it was from a stapler) and he looks happy. Annabeth is glad - he's much more carefree ever since he's gotten a girlfriend. 

"Annabeth!" Jason calls, "I was looking for you. Do you have the teams for Capture The Flag?" 

"I already emailed it to you," Annabeth points out, and Jason flushes. 

"Sorry, I'm just really excited for this." 

Capture The Flag is a tradition the school does every year for the seniors. It's a day full of fun, competition and relief - and although she won't admit it, Annabeth is pretty excited too. It's her first time doing this, but she wants to be in a team with Thalia and Luke. After all, they won last year. 

"Jason, ready to go?" Piper McLean hooks her arm around Jason's, her kaleidoscope eyes twinkling in the sunlight. Piper McLean is probably one of the prettiest girls in school - but for some reason, she prefers to downplay it. Annabeth doesn't know her very well, but Jason and Piper are a pretty cute couple. "Hi, Annabeth." 

Annabeth gives Piper one of her practiced smiles. "Hi, Piper." 

"We're going to get ice-cream," Piper smiles, and Jason looks a little dopey. "You should come with us." 

Annabeth gives them a strained smile. They aren't so bad, but she really doesn't want to. She already has a million things she has to do, and not enough time. "I'm sorry, but-" 

"Hey guys, sorry I'm late!" 

Annabeth, Jason and Piper all look for the source of the voice, and Annabeth goes all funny when she sees that it's Percy Jackson. He's absolutely glowing, and he beams at them as he gets closer. Annabeth doesn't get it. How can someone be so happy and carefree? Isn't he worried about his reputation or future or _anything_? 

And why does  _she_  care? 

Annabeth stutters a bit, and she realizes her cheeks are flaming. She prays that no one notices. 

"Oh, hey Annabeth!" Percy sends a smile her way, and her stomach drops weirdly. "Your face is all red. Are you alright?"

Annabeth wants to face palm. 

"I'm fine," She says sharply, "It's just a little hot, that's all." 

Jason nods sympathetically, and she thinks she got away with it - until Percy puts a hand on her forehead. 

"Wha-" Annabeth stammers, her face heating up even more. 

"Huh," Percy frowns, and his eyebrows scrunch together once again.  _Cute_ , Annabeth can't help but think, and then she wants to slap herself for thinking that. "You feel warm, but you don't seem sick." 

Annabeth's heart is beating a million times a minute, and it's not because of her hatred for him. 

It's something different. A little more crazy, and somewhat familiar. 

She just wants it to stop. 

"I'm  _fine_ ," She snaps, pulling away from Percy. His hand drops to his side, and momentarily Annabeth feels bad. And then she thinks,  _good_. "I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to pass on the ice-cream. I have a lot of homework to do." 

Without looking up, she turns around and-

Percy's grabbing her waist, and suddenly, she's facing them once again. 

Annabeth scowls, and he smiles sheepishly. "Come get ice-cream with us. We won't take that long - and I owe you one for helping me on the math test." 

There are so many excuses that Annabeth can give. She actually has a lot of homework to do, Percy is too obliviously kind for his own good, her heart is beating exceptionally fast, she desperately hates him yet at the same time he's all she can see and she's absolutely sick of it. In the end, Annabeth sighs. 

"Alright," She agrees reluctantly, and Percy brightens immediately, his smile growing, and gods - he's  _beautiful_. Annabeth doesn't even have time to freak out about her thoughts, because Percy is already embracing her. 

She's shocked, a little horrified, but her heart races anyway. He smells like the ocean and campfires and laundry detergent, which is a weird combination, but suits him perfectly. Annabeth begins to relax in his arms, and then he pulls away. 

_What just happened?_

"Ice-cream's on me!" Percy hollers, delighted, and jumps in his car. 

"I call shotgun," Jason calls. 

Annabeth is so shocked, she doesn't see Piper smiling at her like she knows something she doesn't. It miffs her, because  _she's_  supposed to be the knowing one. Not Piper or anyone else. Nonetheless, Piper's eyes are twinkling, more so than usual. 

"Don't worry," Piper reassures Annabeth, "You two are cute together." 

"I- _what_? No." Annabeth splutters, "I-"

_I hate him._

Right?

Piper smiles a little mysteriously, and Annabeth avoids her gaze and stomps inside the car. Percy and Jason are already singing along to the radio. They're incredibly dramatic and off-key, but Percy is bobbing his head to the rhythm, and he's never looked happier.

Annabeth hides a smile.

 

* * *

 

"What can I get for you all?" the teenager in the front register asks, looking as if he wanted to be anywhere else but here. Unlike the bright colors and sweet aroma of the ice cream shop, the boy wore all black and seemed to have a permanent scowl etched on his face. His name tag reads  _Nico_. 

Percy, on the other hand, fits in with the shop right away. He looks as if he's about to burst. 

"What's your choice of poison?" Percy asks Annabeth, as Jason and Piper canoodle around. 

"Er," Annabeth looks at all of the various choices, each one mind-boggling her. It was sad, but she hadn't been in an ice cream shop for  _so long_ , that she's forgotten the way ice cream is - the way it drips down your fingers, the sugary cold sweetness bursting in your mouth on a hot summer day. "I'll just choose vanilla ice-cream." 

 _Vanilla_. Trustworthy, simple vanilla ice-cream. No matter how many more ice-cream flavors will be invented, vanilla ice-cream will always be here. 

Percy's jaw drops. He looks horrified. "No!" He nearly screams, and Annabeth flushes when a few people look over their way. Jason and Piper look amused. "You can't get  _vanilla_." 

"How am I supposed to know?" Annabeth snaps, feeling embarrassed no matter how stupid she felt. 

"So...can you guys hurry up?" Nico rolls his eyes, holding a scoop in his hand. 

"I'll choose for you." Percy is so determined, that Annabeth doesn't have the heart to say no. "But it has to be a surprise. Close your eyes!" 

Annabeth crosses her arms. "What? But-"

"Close 'em!" 

She closes her eyes. 

Her other senses heighten, and she hears Percy mutter their orders as Jason and Piper casually talk. She can hear Nico's long, exasperated sigh and smell the aroma of ice-cream and everything sweet. The ice cream shop is not really busy today, but she can listen to a few giggles and chattering as people enjoy their crispy goodness. 

It's nice. It's unfamiliar. Annabeth has forgotten what it was like to relax, and it's a weird feeling. It's not completely horrible though, and she's glad. 

Suddenly, she feels something cold and sweet on her lips. It's rich and nutty, and has distinct flavors of sorbet and gelato. It's delicious, except-

Annabeth opens her eyes, and almost shrieks when sea green eyes are staring back at her. 

"Wha-" 

"I got you pistachio ice-cream," Percy hands Annabeth pistachio ice-cream in a waffle cone, and it already begins to melt. She's slightly annoyed that it'll eventually become sticky and messy on her fingers, but at the same time she's _so excited_. She misses ice-cream. She misses everything in her life before things got complicated and messy and she met Percy Jackson. 

Jason and Piper are sharing a banana split, and Percy is clutching ice-cream of his own - mint chocolate chip ice-cream. Annabeth hesitantly bites into her ice-cream, and winces when the coldness sinks into her teeth. 

Percy was staring at her intently, but now he laughs loudly. "That is  _not_  how you eat ice-cream! Haven't you ever eaten it before?" 

Annabeth flushes, not used to being the unknowing one. "I have."

Something in Annabeth's face seems to make Percy soften. "You lick it," He whispers, and suddenly the ice-cream shop grows unnaturally warm. Or is it just her? 

He's staring at her with heavy-lidded eyes, and-

Annabeth freaks. " _Rachel likes you_!" 

Percy pulls back, confusion filling his green eyes. "What?" 

Annabeth gulps. Jason and Piper are now staring at her with dumbfounded expressions, and Percy looks even more perplexed. Annabeth wants to slam her head against a wall. Even Nico sends her a weird look. 

"She-she wants to know if you like her back," Annabeth mutters, because wasn't _this_ the reason why she was even talking to Percy Jackson in the first place? Didn't she hate him? She'd never be caught having ice-cream with him and his friends, but here she is. Holding ice-cream as she watches Percy's face change to surprise, confusion, realization and then...

_Disappointment?_

"Do you mean Rachel Dare?" He asks. "Your best friend?" 

Annabeth nods hesitantly. She feels like a terrible wing-man. Wing-woman. Whatever. 

Piper and Jason are staring at Percy with unreadable looks on their faces. 

"Right, well," Percy looks stricken, his ice-cream forgotten. His upper lip still has a bit of ice-cream remaining, and Annabeth has an urge to lick it. And then, this time, she pinches herself hard. Really,  _really_  hard. What the hell? "I'll ask her out tomorrow." 

Annabeth's world tilts, and crashes. 

"Wh-what?" Annabeth is stuttering and she feels like a blubbering idiot. She can't seem to understand Piper's look of pity, but at the same time, she does. "You will?"

"Well, yeah," Percy looks confused. This time, she is too. "Isn't that what you wanted?"

 _Is that what I want?_ Annabeth thinks. 

Rachel has been crushing on Percy Jackson for almost four years now. Shouldn't she be happy for her best friend? Rachel deserves happiness more than anyone she knows. Her parents never make time for her, and she usually spends her time with art materials and a canvas. Annabeth remembers the first time Rachel sees Percy Jackson. It's absolutely ridiculous that she's thinking about that  _now_ , but she can't help it as the memory goes through her. 

_"Who's that?" Rachel, Annabeth's new friend, asks. Her curly red hair is pinned up with a few shiny flower clips, and her green eyes are wide and curious as she stares at the boy across the hall._

_Although Annabeth has recently gotten to know Rachel, she really likes her. She's funny, honest, smart and understanding. Rachel smiles with all of her heart, and she's like a breath of fresh air from Annabeth's dark and angry world._

_That's why, for her sake, Annabeth immediately shakes her head. "That's Percy Jackson, but I hope you're not thinking about what I think you're thinking about."_

_Rachel's eyes widen, as her cheeks turn as red as her hair. Caught red-handed. "Wh-what do you mean?"_

_Because Rachel is her new friend, she doesn't want to admit that she's hated Percy Jackson ever since they were young. It's never been easy for Annabeth to explain, and she feels as if Rachel will judge her. She feels stupid when Percy consumes her thoughts every day - and she doesn't like explaining why her hatred for him takes over completely. It doesn't matter anymore, anyway. Annabeth is set on ignoring him for the rest of her high school years._

_Maybe Annabeth stays silent for too long, because Rachel's jaw drops. "Oh," she says, "you and...Percy Jackson?"_

_Annabeth's cheeks heat up for some reason, and she resists her urge to vomit. "Never!" She nearly screeches instead, "Percy Jackson is the worst human in the world. I hate him. I_ hate _him."_

_Rachel raises her eyebrows in shock, and Annabeth feels ashamed of her outburst. "So you wouldn't mind if I..." She blushes, and Annabeth feels something funny gurgle around her stomach. It's not a good feeling - and she ignores it._

_"Of course not," Annabeth says, "But it's your own fault if you get cursed and die in his hands."_

_Rachel laughs. And then her laugh turns into a wide-eyed, freaked out look. "Behind you," She mouthes, and Annabeth tenses. She already_  senses  _Percy Jackson - the familiar, hateful feelings going through her for the millionth time. She turns around, and there he is - shaggy, messy dark hair and an awkward grin._

_He's scrawny and slightly shorter than Annabeth - which she boasts about in her head every time she stares at him. But even at fourteen years old, he's still helplessly handsome - strong shoulders and exquisite green eyes and a sharp jawline. People can't help but love him, and Annabeth feels bitter all over again._

_"Hi, Annabeth." His face is as red as Rachel's for some reason, and she rolls her eyes and doesn't reply._

_Hurt flits across his expression, and before she can feel hurt, Rachel sends him a bright smile. "Hi," She says shyly, "I'm Rachel."_

_Percy looks away from Annabeth, and turns to look at Rachel. "Are you new?"_

_Rachel nods, her face turning as red as her hair. Annabeth would've thought it was adorable, if it wasn't directed to Percy Jackson. Annabeth wants to grab Rachel and run far, far away from him. She doesn't. Rachel continues to smile at Percy, and they talk about who knows what. Annabeth doesn't care._

_"Well, I've got to go." Percy Jackson_  finally _says, and takes a few steps back and gives his trademark lopsided smile. Rachel swoons, and Annabeth scowls. "It was nice meeting you, Rachel. And-"_

_His eyes soften. "Bye, Annabeth."_

_Annabeth feels funny, but she pushes the butterflies in her stomach away. Rachel's staring at Percy Jackson with an all-too familiar adoration written all over her eyes, and Annabeth doesn't understand why she feels so irritated._

_It's not like it matters. In a couple of years, she'll never have to see Percy Jackson ever again._

 

* * *

 

"She's going to kill you," Thalia says when Annabeth tells her what happened after school yesterday. 

Well, not the _whole_ story. Annabeth definitely didn't talk about any of the weird touches Percy Jackson gave her -  _especially_  how those touches made her feel. 

Annabeth covers her face with her hands. "I  _know_  that." 

She can already sense Thalia's entertained smile. Thalia was wearing her usual leather jacket and combat boots, but it was paired with a intricate delicate tiara-like thing on top of her head. She looked nice with it, and whenever Annabeth commented on it, her face would go red and she'd brush it off quickly. 

"Ice-cream with Percy Jackson, huh?" Thalia muses, and Annabeth's heartbeat quickens. "That doesn't sound like you." 

Annabeth remains silent. What was there to say? 

Thalia seems to soften, and Annabeth stares at her hesitantly. "You know," Thalia says thoughtfully, "I've always thought that you and Percy Jackson would end up together." 

Annabeth was expecting a lot of things from Thalia. After all, Thalia was the epitome of spunky and spontaneous. 

However, she wasn't expecting _that_.

" _What_?" Annabeth shrieks, backing away a few steps. "Wh-why would you think that?"

Thalia shrugs nonchalantly, although she had totally tilted Annabeth's axis. "I guess although you hated him, I just assumed you'd get over it. And everyone knows that he-" 

Annabeth waits expectantly for Thalia to continue, but then Rachel floats to them down in the hallway. Annabeth heartbeat quickens, and she prepares to tell Rachel how badly she messed up. 

Annabeth speaks. "Rachel-" 

All of a sudden, Rachel sighs happily and throws her arms over Annabeth. Annabeth's eyes widen as she hesitantly reciprocates the embrace, confused as ever. "Uh, Rachel?" 

"I love you so much," Rachel gushes, "I'm so happy that you're my best friend." 

Thalia crosses her arms and sighs. "What's going on?" 

Rachel pulls back - and her expression is euphoric. "Four years," She sighs, "Four years, and Percy Jackson has  _finally_ asked me out."

 Their jaws drop. 

Annabeth can't see a thing, except the way Rachel can't seem to stop smiling and how she bounces excitedly as she thanks Annabeth for being the  _best wing-woman ever_. 

"Percy told me that you confessed that I liked him," Rachel beams, "And then he asked me out." 

Annabeth's vision tunnels. She can distinctly hear Rachel chattering excitedly about how she's waited for this forever - and  _now it's here_. Her clover green eyes are glistening, and she's never looked so happy before. Annabeth wants to be happy for her - she truly does. After all, Rachel deserves this more than anyone. 

So why does she feel so sick? Why can't she breathe properly? How come _all she can think about_ is the way Percy Jackson has a bounce in his step whenever he walks, the way his sea green eyes sparkle whenever he's passionate about something? 

"Oh my gods," Rachel continues excitedly, oblivious to Annabeth's turmoil, "I need to find Luke and Grover and tell them as well! I'll see you guys later!" 

Rachel kisses Annabeth's cheek, hugs Thalia, and skips off to share the news. 

Everything is silent, but Annabeth can feel Thalia's eyes training on her. 

"Are you okay?" Thalia asks softly. 

"Of  _course_ I'm okay," Annabeth snaps, much too defensively for her liking, "Why wouldn't I be?" 

Thalia gives Annabeth a look. "About Percy-" 

"I  _hate_  Percy Jackson," Annabeth seethes, and Thalia's eyes widen at the venom in her voice. "You know this. _Everyone_ knows this. If Rachel is happy, then I'm happy. But I could care less about him. "

Thalia sighs. She seems tired, but Annabeth is too jumbled up to ask why. 

"Okay," Thalia says quietly. "I believe you." 

"Good," Annabeth crosses her arms, pushing away every single stupid insecurity and feeling that crosses her. "Can we leave now? I'm late for class." 

Thalia smirks. "That's a first." 

They walk away, but they don't see a boy with dark hair and the prettiest green eyes hiding behind the rows of lockers. And they don't see the look of betrayal written in his face as a single tear runs down his cheek. 

 _She hates him_.

 

* * *

 

"Everyone, let's all welcome our new friend." Mr. Brunner is their kindergarten teacher. He has glasses and he's in a wheelchair and Percy thinks he has a nice smile. "This is Percy Jackson. Everyone, say hi to Percy!" 

Children chorus their greetings, from  _hello_  and  _hi_   _there_ to giggles and incompetent chattering. 

Mr. Brunner gently places a hand on Percy's shoulder. "Percy, why don't you sit down with the class?" 

Percy's lips wobbles, and he fights his urge to cry. He's a big boy now, and as much as he misses his mommy, she  _promised_  she would come back. All he needed to do was be a good boy, and she would bake him blue cookies. Those were his favorite. 

So, instead, he nods and sits down on the carpet with everyone else. There are curious stares and a few shy smiles, but mostly, everyone is in their own little world. 

Mr. Brunner smiles encouragingly at the new boy, before addressing his whole class. "Alright, so who thinks they can count from one to one hundred?" 

Hands raise, and Percy's green eyes widen. All  _he_ could count up to was ten. His mommy says that he'll eventually learn because he's a smart boy, but no matter how hard he tries, he jumbles up with the numbers and starts all over again.

He doesn't believe _anyone_ can count to one-hundred, until Mr. Brunner calls on someone. "Annabeth, why don't you give it a try?"

Everyone slaps their hands down, and Percy spots a girl sitting right in front of Mr. Brunner. She has curly blond hair tied in pigtails, and she reminds Percy of a princess. She's wearing a bright yellow dress that makes her look like the sun, with no wrinkle or stain in sight. Her eyes are grey and scary, and Percy thinks she's the most coolest thing ever. 

And then she proves his point. "One, two, three..." She says, all the way to one hundred. Mr. Brunner is smiling and the rest of the kids look like they've witnessed this one hundred times, but Percy is speechless. 

 _She_ is _a princess_ , Percy realizes, astonished.  _She's perfect_. She looks smug after she finishes reciting her numbers perfectly, and Mr. Brunner congratulates her. She has a button nose and rosy cheeks, and Percy feels a little funny. It's an unfamiliar feeling, but it feels nice. It sort of tickles in his tummy, and he lets out a tiny giggle. 

The class turns to stare at him, and Percy flushes in embarrassment. 

"Percy, would you like to share what you're thinking about to the class?" Mr. Brunner suggests with mirth in his eyes. 

Percy doesn't know what to say. He blurts out the first thing that comes to his mind. "I can only count to ten." 

Everyone laughs, and Mr. Brunner smiles. Percy grins shyly because everyone doesn't seem to be laughing _at_ him. They seem to be laughing  _with_  him. 

"I can count to eleven," One boy exclaims proudly, "I'll teach you, Percy!" 

"Well,  _I_  can count to thirty," Another girl declares proudly. 

"Percy, do you want to play toys with me?" 

"Let's play House! With Power Rangers!" 

"Ooh! Ooh! Can I play too?" 

Everyone seems to brighten, and Percy warms up inside. Everyone is so _nice_ here, and he's happy he moved schools. He talks with all of his classmates happily, and they play with him. A boy named Jason shares his snack with him, and someone named Hazel hands him an extra blanket for nap-time. He plays soccer with a few of his classmates, and his team wins. 

"I'm glad you're liking my class, Percy," Mr. Brunner says to him warmly, "Everyone likes you." 

Percy gives him a toothy beam. "I like everyone, too!"

Everyone is preoccupied with recess, so no one notices when Annabeth steps up to them. She's the only one who hasn't reached out to him, and he feels nervous and excited when she opens her mouth to speak. 

"He can't even count to twenty, Mr. Brunner." Annabeth whines, her blond curls bouncing on her shoulders. Percy is transfixed. 

Mr. Brunner smiles at Annabeth kindly. "Now, now, Annabeth. Everyone is on different learning levels. School is all about helping your friends and learning new things!" 

Annabeth crosses her arms and glares at him. She's taller than him by an inch or two, so he has to crane his neck to look up into her pretty, pretty grey eyes. Percy has never used grey crayons before, but now he wants to. 

"It's not _fair_ ," She mutters, and stomps away. 

"I'm sorry about that," Mr. Brunner says sheepishly, "Annabeth Chase is one of the smartest students in class, and sometimes she can get a little  _competitive_. She'll warm up to you soon, Percy." 

Percy is staring at her as she walks away from them. Her yellow dress sways every-time she skips, and Percy thinks that  _she's so pretty_. "Is she a princess?" He asks.

Mr. Brunner blinks. "Pardon?" 

"My mommy and I watch Disney movies," Percy says, still staring at her, "She's like a Disney princess!" 

Mr. Brunner is silent, and then he laughs. "Annabeth is a princess, in her own special way. She fights dragons and monsters all by herself without a knight in shining armor to help her." 

Percy doesn't want to be a knight in shining armor. He wants to be her friend, someone who can help her slay those dragons and monsters. He wants to be with her so they can eat blue cookies and play with toys. He wants her to stop glaring at him because it's _sort of scary_. Percy whimpers in fear and Mr. Brunner chuckles lightly. 

"I think you're special too, Percy," Mr. Brunner says softly, "You're going to change the world." 

It was the day where Annabeth began to hate him, and the day he fell in love with her. 

 

* * *

 

Percy Jackson is ignoring Annabeth. 

Annabeth should feel relieved and ecstatic. She should be dancing and smiling and skipping down the hallways. She should feel free - she should be  _happy_. 

She isn't. 

Even back then, when Annabeth couldn't even stand to breathe the same air as Percy Jackson, he'd always be nice to her. He'd smile politely, say hi to her and her friends, smile and try to start conversations. It never worked, but nonetheless, he'd always be there. Annabeth counted on that. 

She wasn't sure if he was ignoring her at first. Whenever they'd pass each other in the hallways, he would duck his head and walk faster. His eyes never met her's. He never greeted her and he definitely didn't try to start any conversation. Annabeth assumed he was shy or busy or something. 

He wasn't. 

Percy Jackson is sitting with them for lunch. All his friends pout and move on to another table, but Rachel looks like a million dollars. Her usually crazy, curly red hair is straightened and shiny and smells like expensive shampoo. She's wearing a golden necklace that has  _dreamer_ on it with golden intricate cursive, a silky white blouse that brings out her green eyes lined with mascara, and purposely ripped jeans. (Annabeth has never understood the purpose of that) She smells of perfume and her nails are pastel blue. Annabeth thinks that this is the most extravagant she's ever seen Rachel. 

By the looks of her friends, everyone seems to think so as well. 

Percy's giving his signature lopsided smile, which is shy and painfully awkward. Annabeth thinks it's  _cute_ , and she doesn't even bother to slap herself this time. It doesn't matter anymore. 

"Thanks for sitting here with us," Rachel beams, leaning into Percy's shoulder as she stares up at him. Despite Rachel's appearance changing, Annabeth can still recognize the lovesick, dreamy look on her face. 

Percy rubs the back of his neck and laughs. "It's no problem, really. I'm happy to be here." 

"So, how was your date?" Luke asks politely. Grover and Luke are stealing glances at Annabeth, as if she's going to stand up and start screaming about how much she hates Percy. Annabeth resists the urge to roll her eyes. She's better than  _that_. 

"Oh my gods," Rachel turns all dopey, and Annabeth thinks how endearing it is that Rachel is so head over heels. Even if it's with Percy Jackson. "It was _perfect_. We went to the movies and shared popcorn and..." Rachel continues talking excitedly, but Annabeth finds herself zoning out. 

Annabeth doesn't understand why Percy is looking at everyone but her. It doesn't make sense. They've studied and ate ice-cream together, so she expected him to be a little less hostile than this. She feels something akin to hurt and confusion. 

"...all thanks to Annabeth," Rachel finishes, and Annabeth looks up as everyone stares at her. Except Percy. 

Annabeth blinks. "Um, right." 

"Without you, he would've never asked me out," Rachel smiles gratefully at Annabeth, and she feels an unfamiliar pang of jealousy in her chest. She just doesn't understand why. 

"So, Percy," Thalia was silent, but everyone looks at her when she speaks up. "What do you think of Annabeth's hair? I changed it up a bit, so I was wondering if you could notice." 

Luke laughs. "He won't notice it, Thals." 

Thalia ignores Luke and stares at Percy intently. "What do you think?"

Annabeth stares at Thalia in confusion.  _What was she doing?_  Thalia didn't do anything to Annabeth's hair. It was just in a ponytail - like it always was. Grover and Rachel seem to analyse her hair, confusion written on their faces as well. 

"Looks nice," Percy mutters quietly, and Annabeth's stomach drops.

He didn't even _look_.

Something was definitely off. As much as she hated Percy Jackson, she knew he wasn't the type of guy to dismiss someone's question. 

No one else seems to notice, and Annabeth thinks she's over-analyzing. Until Thalia raises her eyebrows in surprise. 

"What about Annabeth's sweater?" Thalia pushed on, ignoring Annabeth's death glares. "What about that?" 

Everybody glances at Annabeth's shirt. It's nothing special - just a grey wool sweater that matches her eyes. It's her favorite, but still - it isn't anything to marvel about. 

Percy's quiet for a bit, before shrugging. He turns back to Rachel, and Annabeth doesn't know what to think. 

For some stupid,  _stupid_  reason - Annabeth feels hurt. She shouldn't. She should be happy that he's so indifferent about her. So why is she so _disappointed_? 

Everyone is oblivious, but Thalia looks confused. 

"Percy," Annabeth speaks, although her mind is screaming and everyone is staring at her with shocked expressions.  _Whatareyoudoingwhatareyoudoingwhatareyoudoingwhatareyoudoing_ \- "Um, how did you do on the Math test?" 

Everyone is staring at her with dumbfounded expressions, but Rachel seems happy that she's taking her time to talk to Percy. Annabeth suddenly feels guilty, but  _she doesn't understand why_. 

Percy can't even reach her eyes. He shrugs once again, sipping on a juice box. "Fine." 

He looks away purposely, and this time  _everyone_  notices. 

Grover gave Annabeth a look, like,  _what did you do?_

Annabeth shakes her head. _I don't know_. 

Everyone looks as confused as she is, but Rachel's reaction shocks her the most. "What the hell, Percy?" Rachel stood up from her seat, her green eyes flashing. "What was _that_? You're being an ass to my best friend. It's not cool." 

Percy opens his mouth and closes it. Annabeth sees a flash of shame in his eyes. "I-" 

"No, it's okay." Annabeth stands up quickly. She doesn't want to hear his answer. "It doesn't matter. I deserve it anyway."

And the sad part was - it was true. 

Percy's eyes widen. "No, Annabeth-" 

He tries to speak but Annabeth is already cleaning up and walking away. She can feel eyes following her as she throws away wasted food and exits the cafeteria. For some reason, her chest feels heavy and all she wants to do is cry. She doesn't understand why. She doesn't know why she's being like this.

Annabeth goes to the library, the only solitary place in school. The librarian smiles at Annabeth in greeting, and she immediately grabs a random book from the shelves and sits down to read, blocking out her thoughts. 

She's immersed in the words, when suddenly her shoulders tense and a familiar scent comes to her - laundry detergent and the sea. She's hated him too many times to not know who it is. 

_Percy Jackson._

She doesn't look up. 

Annabeth feels him sit beside her. It's silent and tense and all Annabeth wants to do is slam her book and scream at him for making her  _feel_  like this - like she did something wrong. 

She doesn't. 

"Annabeth," He speaks first. "Why do you hate me?" 

Annabeth jolts in shock, and her book falls to the ground with a satisfying _thump_. 

_What?_

"I-I don't know what you're talking about." Annabeth responds stiffly. 

Percy gives her a harsh look, and Annabeth is reminded that Percy is more than a lucky-go happy guy. "Don't bother lying to me. I heard you talk with Thalia the other day." 

 _"I_ hate _Percy Jackson. You know this._ Everyone _knows this. If Rachel is happy, then I'm happy. But I could care less about him. "_

Annabeth clenches her fists on her lap. Oh.  _Oh_. 

Suddenly, Annabeth feels ashamed. She knows Percy is a decent human being. He doesn't deserve her hatred. He's the most kind-hearted person she knows, and yet she still spent her whole life despising him. He's staring at her with hurt in his sea green eyes, and Annabeth's heart thumps irrationally. 

"I-I..." Annabeth tries to find an answer. "It's complicated." 

"No it's not." Percy says softly. "The world is round, the ocean is blue, Annabeth Chase hates Percy. What I don't understand is -  _why_?" 

Percy is looking down at his hands. He can't even look at her. But if he did, he would see tears brimming in her eyes. He would see shame and guilt and regret written all over her face.  _I'm so stupid_ , Annabeth thinks.  _So, so stupid_. 

At least he deserves an answer.

"I was jealous," Annabeth whispers. Saying it aloud makes it sound trivial. It makes her sound like a whiny brat. But to her, it was harsh and true and horrible. Percy looks up at her, surprised that she spoke. "I was so,  _so_  jealous of you. I was perfect with everything in my life. And yet, no one really liked me." 

Annabeth's fists clenches as memories flood back into her. "Then you came along with your lopsided smile and big green eyes. You were far from perfect - gods, you could only count to  _ten_. But everybody loved you.  _Everyone_  did. You didn't even have to try, and I've been trying  _all my life_ , but-"

Percy's eyes widen, and Annabeth realizes she's crying. She doesn't want to cry, especially in front of the boy whom she's hated all her life - the boy who creeped into her mind and heart without her ever knowing. 

"Everyone loves you, Percy. And all I've wanted was what I could never get - what you had without even trying." Annabeth can't look at him anymore. "That's why I hate you." 

She expects him to call her an attention-seeker and a jealous bitch. She at least expects him to walk away and start to hate her, too. After all, why wouldn't he? Percy has done nothing wrong - and yet, she hated him with all her heart. 

He stands up, and Annabeth stiffens.  _He's going to leave. He knows how much of a horrible, horrible person I am now_. 

And for some reason, she doesn't want him to leave. 

It's confusing. She hates him - yet all she wants him to do is comfort her and stay with her. 

If she still even hates him. Annabeth isn't so sure anymore. 

To her shock, Percy kneels down in front of her so she's forced to look at him. He's beautiful, and he always is - but right now, at this moment, Annabeth feels something flutter in her chest. It's unfamiliar and yet, she can recognize the feeling. His eyes are so clear and honest and warm, and his expression isn't filled with hatred or disgust or anything she was expecting. 

His expression makes her cheeks warm and her chest to start hurting. 

What is this? Why does she  _feel_  like this? 

"Everyone may love me," Percy says softly, staring at her with a tender expression. "But all I wanted was for you to." 

Annabeth can't breathe, and her entire world tilts.

**Author's Note:**

> If you made it this far, thank you!!  
> Maybe comment, like and follow? It means a lot!  
> If you want to reread this fanfic but in a different platform (lol idk why) click [here](https://www.quotev.com/story/10472442/Ambivalence) !  
> and again, thank you for reading!


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